Whether it’s two men locked in a friendly duel or a pair of lovers going at it, a physical interaction scene can be difficult to write. At its core, interaction uses description, meaning its less ‘show don’t tell’ and more ‘Show don't tell, a lot’. You know, all of those times you were told by critics that you had described something too intensely? Yeah, this isn’t one of those times.
Let’s start with an unarmed fight scene. Those of you who are big martial arts buffs will know that one of the key points of using those skills is precision in control. You want to perform the techniques with as little excess movement as possible. Because of that, your entire body must be controlled. Think of a boxer: his fist doesn’t suddenly vanish and then hit the guy in front of him. His brain has to make millions of commands through his body, just for one punch.
The boxer saw his opening. Taking a deep breath, he ducked to the left beneath his opponent’s jab. Planting his right foot, he put all of the weight on his torso. As the force rocketed through to his elbow, he drove it upwards delivering a devastating blow to his enemy’s chin. As his tightened fist followed through with the uppercut, it sent his rival from his feet before landing with a limp thud on the mat.
The above passage was for one uppercut. Just one. With description, however, we can narrate that punch to make it seem much more exciting than simply saying ‘he punched him in the jaw’. When combat comes into play, keep track not just of the body part doing the hitting, but the other parts that are working as well.
“That’s great!” you say. “But I write science fiction. My guys typically fight with guns and lasers. How am I supposed to write that in great detail?”
Well you’re right. Gun fights are a bit different than a bare-knuckled brawl. A gun fight becomes exciting in the same way that horror or suspense becomes exciting. You have to use tone and narrative to convey the danger that is present around your characters. The detail simply shifts from your character to the environment around them. You can still use description for your characters, but you’ll want to also focus on the bullets and the enemies and their placement.
“Damn it!” the space commander shouted, hurling his body over the barricade just as a flurry of bullets slammed into the steel behind him. He’d overdone himself this time. Why did he think he could take so many of them? His heart pounded in his chest as the enemy squadron’s ammunition whizzed just inches above his head. Glancing down at his pistol, he watched as his depleted energy pack showed itself gaining a new charge. One bar, two, three...full! Now he was ready to fight back. When there was a lull in the enemy’s volley, he responded with one of his own. Leveling his barrel at them, he began to fire madly back upon his would-be captors. A few of their men were felled, wisping trails of smoke rising from the plasma-induced wounds in their skulls.
See what I mean? Words of action and description pump a sense of urgency into your work. It’s this urgency that sets the tone necessary to give your work the indication of danger. While people will most likely be able to tell when your character will survive an encounter or not, it’s important to write the passage as if they wouldn’t know. If someone were to open the book and randomly come across the fight, without knowing who any of the characters are, they should see a clear level of danger there.
Which brings me to part two of physical interactions: damage. The best fights aren’t ones like Muhammad Ali vs Sonny Liston. First minute, first round knock outs are boring to watch. It can metaphorically (and literally) be like watching as Storm Troopers constantly miss their targets or a man beating up a child. The most exciting fights are the ones where there isn’t a clear cut winner at the start of the fight. If you’ve ever watched Dragon Ball Z or Power Rangers or any other such action series, you’ll find that the common format is the first fight, good guy loses. Good guy trains and comes back, wins second fight.
Even if you are using this format, it’s important to understand just how damage affects fighters. Not every blow has to be the killing one, and not every strike has to be lethal in intent. Even two people who are actively trying to kill one another realize the strategy in maiming an opponent before going in for the kill.
My personal technique is one I like to call the ‘shoulder stab’. Most of the fights I write tend to use swords and sorcery, so often characters in the heat of battle will be just a tad slow when it comes to countering a strike or avoiding a spell, resulting in a painful but ultimately superficial wound.
For those of you who have seen The Princess Bride (if you haven’t I highly recommend it), you’ll remember the ending fight between Inigo Montoya and the evil Count Rugen. A little background for those who haven’t seen it, Count Rugen is the sinister six-fingered man who slayed Inigo’s father when he was a child. When Inigo challenged him to a duel as a boy, he lost and was scarred on either cheek. So he spent thirty years of his life becoming a master swordsman so that he may avenge his father’s death. His one wish is to look his father’s killer in the eye and say ‘Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.’ In this final showdown with Count Rugen he’s badly injured by a thrust to his stomach.
In great pain, he continues fighting, repeating his catchphrase over and over again. Even when Rugen has the heavily injured Inigo cornered, he can’t seem to land the killing blow on him. This is because whenever he thrusts for Inigo’s heart, he deflects the sword away from his vital points at the cost of being stabbed through the shoulder instead (Get it? ‘Shoulder stab’).
The reason I bring up this scene is because it’s a good example of how a fight in real life would work. Even if you’re blocking a punch, the punch can still hit you. What’s important is that the intended target of the punch (your face) is what’s protected. When writing a fight, remember that both characters should be experiencing some form of danger (unless the point is to show the futility of your hero by having him be absolutely decimated. But we’ll get to that later.)
The two expert swordsmen stared one another down. This was it. The final moment where it would at last be decided whether the Red or Blue dojo was truly the superior. The red swordsman immediately lashed out in an arc towards his cobalt opponent. His strike was fast, but not nearly swift enough. The blue man raised his blade horizontally, catching the steel on his own and slowing the blow to a halt. The two pitted their physical strength against one another, and as the red man pushed down upon his foe’s weapon, his own bit into his shoulder. The blue fighter was not finished however. With a quick kick towards his foe’s ribs, he sent the red man back, one arm clutching his bruised side, a good match for his bruised ego.
Both fighters seem evenly matched. The red man’s blow (intending to slice through the blue man’s) was countered by his opponent. However, the blue man still took a nasty gash to his shoulder that is going to cause him some pain. So he kicked his enemy in the side to send him back and give himself some ground. Both men landed a blow, both are hurt, and now the fight can continue onwards.
The exception to this ‘shoulder stab’ as I mentioned above, is when your protagonist is facing an enemy that he stands no chance to defeat. I don’t mean a surprising upstart victory on his part either. Not a bad guy monologue ‘you have no chance’ but genuinely he is severely outclassed in a fight. It’s a good way to show the level at which your character progresses in skill when he comes back to defeat an opponent who previously had mopped the floor with him.
However, it’s important to note that not every fight has to be a standstill, near-death, victory or an utter annihilation. There are levels in between the two as well. As in all writing, you need variety between fights and combat, otherwise you end up a bit like the card matches in Yu-Gi-Oh. “Oh no! I’m going to lose! The only way I can win is if I manage to draw this one card!” -draws card- “Ha! You shouldn’t be so cocky enemy! I believe in my bits of paper and thus, I’ve drawn the one thing I needed to defeat you!” -wins- It gets old after a while. Even Superman has lost a fight before. Don’t be afraid to let your protagonist lose.
Next time we’ll continue this discussion but instead go over writing erotic scenes. The recommended exercise for this post is what I like to call 'the standstill'. Write yourself a 3,000 word fight scene. No background, no real plot or purpose, but simply two combatants going all out against each other. Don't determine a winner up front. Instead, as we've discussed in an earlier post, let the fight progress naturally until you can see who may have the advantage. Then end it there. For a bit of bonus points, try having the two fighters using different fighting styles. Maybe you have a samurai facing off against a Shaolin monk, or a police officer taking on a gang of thugs with bats and chains. Get creative with using the environment and the description of the body's movement to spice things up. As always, if you like, I'm more than happy to critique any writing exercise I recommend.
Thanks so much for reading and for your support. Be sure to +1 and share this post with your other writer friends. I wish you the best of luck in life and literature. -Kiba
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