We've all been there. There's a common joke among writers that goes that being a writer is 5% writing, and 95% playing on the internet. Writer's block, when we're struck with it, is very unfunny. No one likes to bang there head on their desk with no idea on what to write. Well, believe it or not, there are two kinds of 'Writer's block' and we're going to tackle them both and provide strategies with what to do in order to fix them.
Let's start with the one you've heard of before: standard writer's block. Writer's Block is a term used to refer to the phenomenon often shared by writers where they find themselves at an inexplicable inability to write. You'll hear many people say, 'there's no such thing as writer's block, it's just a lack of motivation.' Don't listen to those people. If those people have honestly never experienced writer's block, that means that they don't use ideas, creativity, or inspiration. Not the sort of people you want to take writing advice from.
But, insults aside, writer's block is actually accepted in the psychology world. It's a real thing, and it has been studied time and time again in hopes of finding some miraculous cure that makes it go away. We have yet to find one. HOWEVER, don't panic. Don't grab the brown paper bag and start puffing away, because there are strategies and tricks you can use in order to overcome the dreaded block of writers.
Now, most will give you ideas like 'listen to music', 'watch TV', 'read a book'. Those are all great ideas...for the other kind of writer's block. Standard writer's block tends to be caused less by a lack of ideas, and more of an overflow of them. As writers we have thousands of ways to say the exact same thing, and sometimes picking those ways aren't easy. So what's the best way to get rid of these crazy rampant thoughts? Well, it isn't stuffing your head full of more stuff. The best thing to do is find a way to empty your mind. Now there are two great ways to do this that I often use: meditation and what I like to call 'clusterf*ck writing'.
Meditation is the act of mental relaxation through deep thought or contemplation. It is not crossing your legs and going 'ommm'. In fact, meditation can be done in whatever position makes you comfortable and relaxed (though I don't recommend laying down as you'll probably fall asleep). There are a few ways for meditation to really clear up those thoughts. The typical way that I do it is imagining my thoughts tied to red balloons (don't ask why red, it just helps). As I meditate, I envision those balloons floating higher and higher, carrying my thoughts with them until eventually my mind is blank and all the thoughts and ideas I had are gone. Then I shake myself out of it and I start writing again. However, blanking your mind is not an easy thing to do for beginners, but there are tools to help.
Binaural beats is a term that refers to the practice of having a particular tone played in one ear, with a different tone played in another ear. This stuff seriously works...for most people. If you go to Youtube, you can find dozens of videos that use binaural beats for meditation, lucid dreaming, even as a cure for insomnia. A majority of people will find this helps exceedingly well, more so than you'd actually expect. It may sound like some spiritual stuff, but this is backed by science, no joke. Now for the small minority of you, it will give you a splitting headache. No worries, just stop listening to the sounds and it'll go away. It's important that you use headphones to get the best effect out of binaural beats, and you'll find that they're typically accompanied by instrumental relaxation music. "Wait a minute, you said that music is for the other kind of writer's block!" So I did! Typically music that people listen to when writing are songs that are familiar to them. Because of this, your mind starts anticipating what portion of the song is coming next, which does little to help you clear your mind. Sticking to instrumental, particularly soft instrumental music, is the way to go if you use music at all to help you with standard writer's block.
Clusterf*ck Writing, expletives aside, is something many writers use. Some call it speed writing, others call it free writing. Dealer's choice really. The way it works is this. Sit down at your keyboard/typewriter/whatever you use, and just start typing. Whatever words come to your head, throw them out there. Doesn't matter if it's grammatically correct or if it makes any coherent sense at all. If for some reason the word 'squirrel' leaps into your brain every fifth word, write it down. Do this for about five minutes and you'll find that your head suddenly is far clearer, and when you look back at it, you may have even found some good ideas that you picked out. This works because when you are writing without thought, your brain is registering that progress. You become a rolling stone, and you stop gathering messy mossy thoughts. By vomiting those thoughts on paper (sorry for that image) you sort through your ideas much more quickly than just trying to pick them out yourself.
"Okay, so what's this new type of writer's block that you're going on and on about?"
Funnily enough, this is the writer's block you'll experience more often. The catch? It's actually a disorder. Blank Page Syndrome (not kidding), is the phenomenon of being unable to find ideas, creativity, or inspiration when attempting to write, thus resulting in you staring at a blank page. So what causes Blank Page Syndrome? Well, without getting into fancy psychobabble, your creative battery has lost its charge. People will often say 'there's no such thing as an original idea', and technically speaking it's true. Now before I start being stoned to death, let me clarify. This is said because every idea we come up with is inspired by something else, be it something we've seen or experienced before. There is still original work, just the idea has to come from something else, and that's okay!
Blank Page Syndrome has an easier fix than the standard writer's block: walk away. "But what if..." Nope! Just walk away. Don't think about writing for about an hour. Watch a movie, listen to some music that you enjoy (lyrical if you want), read a book, take a nap, or even just go for a walk. What's important is that you get away from the blank page! Blank Page Syndrome is a bit like a brick wall: you can smash your forehead against it, and you'll eventually get through it, but it's a headache waiting to happen and it's much faster and less stressful to just go around it.
By doing these things, your tired mind and body recharges itself, filling up with new ideas and new inspiration. Readers often ask me how I write so fast, and it's literally because I'm always doing something else between writing sessions. The moment that I start slowing down, I drop what I'm writing, get something to eat, listen to a song, or what have you, then just plop myself back down and all the ideas that I was just daydreaming about while doing my other things come flowing from my finger tips. Another strategy I use is having multiple stories that I'm working on. If I can't come up with ideas for one, that's okay, I'll jump to another and see if I have anything rolling around for that. This doesn't work for everyone, and if you ask them, my readers will express their frustration at my feet dragging for certain stories *cough* Worlds Apart, Separate Ways *cough*, but to be honest, and I mean this with the deepest love for my readers from the bottom of my heart, they'll get over it.
They'd rather wait for you to release good content, than to rush bad content. And if you're releasing multiple things of good content, well, they'll always have something to read and that's really what they want in the first place. What about you guys? Do you have any strategies for writer's block or Blank Page Syndrome? Be sure to +1, share, and comment your thoughts, and feel free to ask me to work on anything in particular that you'd like.
Your writing exercise for this post: do some clusterf*ck writing. Just really clusterf*ck your ideas on to paper, and see where it takes you. I know it's not as exciting as some of the other prompts I've given, but it really will help if you're finding yourself with a case of writer's block.
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Sunday, August 21, 2016
Putting Your Story Through the Paces
Pacing is one of the biggest struggles writers run into. Why? Because unlike other aspects of writing pacing isn't something can necessarily be taught. It's something you have to pick up for yourself over time and practice. Even still, I'll give you my best attempt by telling you some of my strategies.
One of the first things I can give you for advice is length. Some of the biggest mistakes new writers make is making their chapters far too short. To put it simply, if your chapters are less than a thousand words, they are way too short. It's not enough space or time to complete a segment of the story. While it's true there's not a required length for a chapter, it should end with a milestone. If you've just started writing, I'd recommend aiming for about 2500 words, then work your way to a length that makes you comfortable. For me, that's about 5,000 words, but for others it can be more or less.
But what is a milestone?
Milestones are markers that identify major points in the plot line of a story. They work as a setting point to help identify when you've started a plot arc and when you've ended it. Now don't get me wrong, the milestone at the end of a chapter doesn't necessarily have to be started at its beginning. In fact, you can start multiple milestones and not end them until far later. The best way to think about it is this: if someone else is reading a story you've already read and you ask them where they are, they're going to give you a milestone. Like: "Oh, I'm at the part where the main character has just found the dragon." You know where that place is, because that's an important point in the story.
An example from A Boy and His Fox is the Rune Gauntlet. Starting in the first half of Ch. 8, Kal receives a gauntlet from the council that's supposed to boost his powers and help him on his quest. However, the gauntlet is only one half of a pair, and because of that it begins to warp Kal's mind in dangerous ways. From the point where that milestone starts (Kal putting on the gauntlet) to the point where it ends (Kal is freed from the gauntlet) multiple milestones start and stop between (Kal is captured by Miss Fortune, Kal escapes with Ahri).
Now I know what you're thinking "Wait a minute! Kal lost the gauntlet in the middle of a chapter! You said milestones should end when a chapter does." Not necessarily. A chapter should end with a milestone, but not all milestones end at the end of a chapter. A story should ALWAYS have at least one milestone open (not necessarily the same one) until you reach the end. Otherwise you've got a point in your story where nothing is happening. Boring!
So how do we apply milestones? Well remember the practice I mentioned earlier? It involves a lot of it. As you write, you'll learn to identify more essential points in the story and less important parts, and organize them accordingly. More important milestones should have a longer lasting effect, with less important ones ending a short while later. Using the above example, Kal getting the gauntlet is a major plot point. It shows that even with his straight laced nature, he can be twisted and corrupted into something malicious. It strengthens his relationship with Ahri, because he cuts loose more, and she sees his darker side, which he normally wouldn't have ever shown her, otherwise. However, Miss Fortune is a transitional plot point, so while the effects of that particular milestone were small, it allowed the larger one to have a stepping stone to the next one.
This brings us to the next piece of advice when it comes to pacing. You've heard 'Show, don't tell' many times as a writer, I'm sure. Well how about 'Therefore, not Next'? It's a bit less common, but every bit as essential.
'Therefore, not Next', is a rule that guides how your story should be structured. A good story's milestones shouldn't seem like a fence your reader has to hop, but a winding serpentine path that doesn't end, with each chapter serving as another curve in the road. The events of a story should tie into and cause/affect one another. The best example I can give you is not from A Boy and His Fox. Admittedly, 'Therefore, not Next' is something I struggle with often. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly suggest you watch the movie called The Court Jester (1955). It does an excellent job at capturing this concept well, when you consider how the events are intertwined with one another.
The reason we call this rule 'Therefore, not Next' is because when explaining what happens in your story, you should find yourself often saying 'Therefore, such and such happens, therefore, causing this, therefore, causing that'. You want that domino effect, because it'll give your reader a better sense of movement through the plot and allow them to gauge just how far they've come and gone since the start. This is better than 'This happens first. Next, that happens. Next, something else happens.' It becomes disjointed and the pacing feels as if it's starting and stopping over and over again.
So what's a good way to put this into practice? My typical strategy is to overlap milestones. Have one start in the middle of a chapter, and end in the middle of a different one, preferably stretching over the end and start of a new milestone. This way, when people are walking through your story line, they don't come across gaps where the plot abruptly stops before being picked back up again.
Some final advice: you don't have to plot out every single milestone in advance. In fact, many writers don't plan a single one, save the first and last. George R. R. Martin once said that there are two kinds of writers: growers and architects. Architects are writers who sit down and plan out the entire story before hand. They know every detail that is going to happen before they even write the first word on to paper. Growers plant the seed of a story (the first milestone), and they let it grow as they progress, watching the story continue in a way that feels natural. Like George, I myself am very much a grower. Very seldom do I actually start a story and know how I want it to end.
Now, it's important to know that neither one is better or worse than the other. It's all about your personality and how you write. Also bear in mind that no one is solely one or the other. Often growers will have the start and end of a milestone planned out, even if they are still watching to see how another one develops. Architects sometimes find they don't like their plans and improvise a milestone to spice up a plot line.
Your exercise:
Think a bit about whether you're more comfortable as an architect or a grower. Then write a few chapters of a story using the opposite style. If you're more of a grower, make yourself an outline plotting out specific turning points in the story. If you're more of an architect, think of a concept (A hero finds a strange sword on his doorstep, a girl has been framed for murder, a father travels in time to save his child) and then just run with it. Think seriously about how the character would behave and adjust accordingly. While you write, be sure to mark out certain milestones when you've started or stopped them, making sure at least one milestone you've started ends with each chapter.
Good luck everyone! As always, feel free to post comments, send me work if you'd like my opinion, or recommend a fan fiction for critique. If you found this helpful, be sure to share it among your writing circles and friends to help spread the love. I wish you all the best of luck in life and literature. -Kiba
One of the first things I can give you for advice is length. Some of the biggest mistakes new writers make is making their chapters far too short. To put it simply, if your chapters are less than a thousand words, they are way too short. It's not enough space or time to complete a segment of the story. While it's true there's not a required length for a chapter, it should end with a milestone. If you've just started writing, I'd recommend aiming for about 2500 words, then work your way to a length that makes you comfortable. For me, that's about 5,000 words, but for others it can be more or less.
But what is a milestone?
Milestones are markers that identify major points in the plot line of a story. They work as a setting point to help identify when you've started a plot arc and when you've ended it. Now don't get me wrong, the milestone at the end of a chapter doesn't necessarily have to be started at its beginning. In fact, you can start multiple milestones and not end them until far later. The best way to think about it is this: if someone else is reading a story you've already read and you ask them where they are, they're going to give you a milestone. Like: "Oh, I'm at the part where the main character has just found the dragon." You know where that place is, because that's an important point in the story.
An example from A Boy and His Fox is the Rune Gauntlet. Starting in the first half of Ch. 8, Kal receives a gauntlet from the council that's supposed to boost his powers and help him on his quest. However, the gauntlet is only one half of a pair, and because of that it begins to warp Kal's mind in dangerous ways. From the point where that milestone starts (Kal putting on the gauntlet) to the point where it ends (Kal is freed from the gauntlet) multiple milestones start and stop between (Kal is captured by Miss Fortune, Kal escapes with Ahri).
Now I know what you're thinking "Wait a minute! Kal lost the gauntlet in the middle of a chapter! You said milestones should end when a chapter does." Not necessarily. A chapter should end with a milestone, but not all milestones end at the end of a chapter. A story should ALWAYS have at least one milestone open (not necessarily the same one) until you reach the end. Otherwise you've got a point in your story where nothing is happening. Boring!
So how do we apply milestones? Well remember the practice I mentioned earlier? It involves a lot of it. As you write, you'll learn to identify more essential points in the story and less important parts, and organize them accordingly. More important milestones should have a longer lasting effect, with less important ones ending a short while later. Using the above example, Kal getting the gauntlet is a major plot point. It shows that even with his straight laced nature, he can be twisted and corrupted into something malicious. It strengthens his relationship with Ahri, because he cuts loose more, and she sees his darker side, which he normally wouldn't have ever shown her, otherwise. However, Miss Fortune is a transitional plot point, so while the effects of that particular milestone were small, it allowed the larger one to have a stepping stone to the next one.
This brings us to the next piece of advice when it comes to pacing. You've heard 'Show, don't tell' many times as a writer, I'm sure. Well how about 'Therefore, not Next'? It's a bit less common, but every bit as essential.
'Therefore, not Next', is a rule that guides how your story should be structured. A good story's milestones shouldn't seem like a fence your reader has to hop, but a winding serpentine path that doesn't end, with each chapter serving as another curve in the road. The events of a story should tie into and cause/affect one another. The best example I can give you is not from A Boy and His Fox. Admittedly, 'Therefore, not Next' is something I struggle with often. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly suggest you watch the movie called The Court Jester (1955). It does an excellent job at capturing this concept well, when you consider how the events are intertwined with one another.
The reason we call this rule 'Therefore, not Next' is because when explaining what happens in your story, you should find yourself often saying 'Therefore, such and such happens, therefore, causing this, therefore, causing that'. You want that domino effect, because it'll give your reader a better sense of movement through the plot and allow them to gauge just how far they've come and gone since the start. This is better than 'This happens first. Next, that happens. Next, something else happens.' It becomes disjointed and the pacing feels as if it's starting and stopping over and over again.
So what's a good way to put this into practice? My typical strategy is to overlap milestones. Have one start in the middle of a chapter, and end in the middle of a different one, preferably stretching over the end and start of a new milestone. This way, when people are walking through your story line, they don't come across gaps where the plot abruptly stops before being picked back up again.
Some final advice: you don't have to plot out every single milestone in advance. In fact, many writers don't plan a single one, save the first and last. George R. R. Martin once said that there are two kinds of writers: growers and architects. Architects are writers who sit down and plan out the entire story before hand. They know every detail that is going to happen before they even write the first word on to paper. Growers plant the seed of a story (the first milestone), and they let it grow as they progress, watching the story continue in a way that feels natural. Like George, I myself am very much a grower. Very seldom do I actually start a story and know how I want it to end.
Now, it's important to know that neither one is better or worse than the other. It's all about your personality and how you write. Also bear in mind that no one is solely one or the other. Often growers will have the start and end of a milestone planned out, even if they are still watching to see how another one develops. Architects sometimes find they don't like their plans and improvise a milestone to spice up a plot line.
Your exercise:
Think a bit about whether you're more comfortable as an architect or a grower. Then write a few chapters of a story using the opposite style. If you're more of a grower, make yourself an outline plotting out specific turning points in the story. If you're more of an architect, think of a concept (A hero finds a strange sword on his doorstep, a girl has been framed for murder, a father travels in time to save his child) and then just run with it. Think seriously about how the character would behave and adjust accordingly. While you write, be sure to mark out certain milestones when you've started or stopped them, making sure at least one milestone you've started ends with each chapter.
Good luck everyone! As always, feel free to post comments, send me work if you'd like my opinion, or recommend a fan fiction for critique. If you found this helpful, be sure to share it among your writing circles and friends to help spread the love. I wish you all the best of luck in life and literature. -Kiba
Foxy Critique - "Core" by Wickfield
Hello friends and fans, readers and writers alike, welcome to Foxy Critique. Foxy Critique is a segment on this blog dedicated to writers of fan fictions in well known, but less popular categories. Whenever I read fan fiction, I look at a number of things but it's always imperative to know that when I critique a story a writer will, under any circumstances, receive at least two praises and two criticisms. This is important because its good to remember that no matter how good or bad you are, there are always things that can be improved and there are always merits to your writing. With the introduction out of the way, let's get into the critique of Core by Wickfield. Spoilers are contained within: if you'd like to read the story for yourself, follow this link here.
Getting basic information out of the way first, Core is a fan fiction for the cartoon Dexter's Laboratory, a show that aired on Cartoon Network from 1995 to 2003. The show features Dexter: Boy Genius who amidst his many over-the-top science experiments, is interrupted by his well-meaning yet destructive older sister Dee Dee. He often also butts heads with his neighbor and rival the sinister Susan Mandark Astronomonov, who, as a male, prefers to go by Mandark. The common foil to Mandark's schemes is his obsessive romantic interest in Dexter's sister, making the relationship a fun but chaotic experience.
This particular fanfiction, however, revolves around the Cartoon's television movie: Ego Trip, which involves time travel through various time lines in an attempt to save the future from the multitude of Mandarks. Core is approximately 39,000 words long over 12 chapters and is completed.
Now let's get down to the critique. Immediately, I have to say that the most noticeable trait while reading the story is the characters. Through out the story, there were very few moments when I questioned a character's behavior and thoughts when compared to their in canon counter parts. To put it simply, Dee Dee acted like Dee Dee, Dexter like Dexter, etc. etc. Their interactions were spot on, in ways where if the show had been made for adults, I would believe that this was the novelization for a movie.
Their behaviors were three dimensional, they had strong solid motivations, and they really fit well with the world that was built around them. As someone who grew up watching the TV show, I could even hear the actual voice actors in my head, reading the dialogue. Any time this happens, it shows skill on the writer's part. Absolutely fantastic work.
In addition, the story was well organized. The pacing was satisfactory, (I'll get to why I won't call it great later), the plot was attention grabbing enough to keep me reading, and all in all, the progression felt natural and well played out. I couldn't find much in the way of plot holes nor were there any confusing transitions that made me question if the time line was out of order. Grammar was excellent; very few mistakes and any that I did spot were negligible at their worst.
Tying back to the previous praise I gave, the characters excelled at moving the plot forward without it feeling forced or too linear. You actually find yourself curious as to what will happen next, which in itself is a good trait to have in writing, not just in fan fiction.
Now on to the criticisms.
Let's start with the pacing, since I mentioned I'd get to it. As I said, the pacing was satisfactory. To be honest, the only think keeping me from giving it higher praise was the length of the story itself. While it didn't necessarily feel rushed, a lot of the events ended so abruptly that I found myself a little taken aback by their resolutions. Specifically, this came in points where something intense would happen to the character, and you'd expect it to be addressed urgently, only for it to not come up until further along in the story.
The best way I can explain it is that it's kind of like the old English dub of Sailor Moon. The very first episode the main character is staring at the shopping mall where all these women are fighting over jewelry because of some demonic influence. The character gets very serious and notes "something is very wrong here." Then immediately goes "I'm going to go home and take a nap." When you're watching it you're like "Oh shit, things are going down," but then SPLAT, the tension falls flat on its face because it isn't acted upon. While it's nowhere near that extreme in Core, it still can cause alienation for what I call 'grazing' readers. These are ones who don't binge, but read each story a chapter at a time.
Specifically, one of the best examples for this I can give is when Mandark drops the photon whip in Dee Dee's apartment. She touches it and reacts to it with an extreme anxiety. It's really played up that this weapon is something sinister and dangerous, to the point where she is scared of the potential that Mandark displays by creating such a thing. She then puts it in her junk drawer and it isn't mentioned, nor comes into play, until the climax of the story. Had I not read it in a day, I'd have probably asked myself "Wait...what whip?"
The same goes for the tail end, when Dee Dee is looking for Dexter. When she goes to see him and tries to talk to him about Mandark, only to be sent away by the secretary with a note saying he hates her, she doesn't really give much of a reason as to why she doesn't press that tense issue. Dee Dee has shown multiple times that when Dexter is rude or mean to her, if she feels the issue is serious and pressing, she will bear the brunt of it regardless. Instead, she just kind of goes home.
Fixing this is easy enough. If something is important in a story, and you show that importance, every now and then you should leave some bread crumbs for your readers giving some indication that yes, it does serve a purpose. Now I'm not saying to bash them over the head with it. No point in mentioning the whip every few paragraphs, but even just a mild scene of Dee Dee contemplating what to do with it (even when putting it in her junk drawer is the solution) shows that the tension is not meant to be short lived. It has its purpose, even if that purpose doesn't come into play until later. Having Dee Dee escorted out by security guards or even having a doctored recording from Dexter telling her to leave would be better tension resolution than just leaving.
However the thing that really hit home for me was the ending of the story. Now I'm normally one for happy endings, so my feelings on the ending should be taken as leaning a bit towards biased, but if you'll indulge me, I'd like to make my case. The end of the story has Dee Dee rushing to the old lab in their original house. Most of the world is in shambles, people are dead, Dexter is no where to be found and Mandark has won. Dee Dee has the idea of using Dexter's time machine to go back and warn him about Mandark in advance, thus preventing the events of the story. Now in defense of the author, I was HUGELY relieved that this didn't happen. If there are two things I dislike it's easy fixes: time travel and stop events from happening, or even worse 'it was all a dream'. It just becomes disappointing.
Dee Dee realizes that her brother's disdain for her would color his perception of events and he wouldn't believe her because he'd expect that she is trying to mess with him. He's egotistical enough that he believes Dee Dee isn't trustworthy, so if he had a message for himself, he'd have sent himself to deliver it. So Dee Dee essentially gives up. The resolution of the story as a whole seems to try to end on a cheerful note, with Dee Dee commenting that 'So long as there is a future, there is hope.' But for me it felt abrupt and honestly, disappointing. So she just gives up and hopes everything will be okay? Considering her altruistic nature through out the rest of the story, and her incredible drive to help her brother, it feels like she just surrendered a little too easily. Even if she would expect her brother to not believe her, I feel like she'd have at least tried to convince him anyway.
Now I know what you're thinking: "Wait, so you don't want her to travel back in time and fix everything, yet you want her to travel back in time and fix everything?" To be perfectly honest, I feel like the story should have gone on longer. Another four or five chapters would have made this thing absolutely golden. It's not so much important as what happens, she could still lose and the world still be screwed, but there are so many avenues she could have taken that she just...doesn't. Dexter is missing: she could go look for him. Not even think about the time machine, so much as she just thinks 'If I can find my brother, he can fix this', which would fit with her view of him through out the whole story. She could take the time machine, but again her brother doesn't believe her, causing her to literally cease to exist, just moments before Dexter goes to develop the core. Personally, I'd prefer the one with her finding Dexter, the two of them reconciling, and together ending Mandark's plot once and for all, but that's because I like happy endings myself.
Final criticism, and it's not like the other two. The use of italics is excessive. Typically when a writer uses italics in dialogue, it's meant to show emphasis. This is fine, but if you over use them, the emphasis has less effect. Then it just seems like the characters are talking like a 'Speak n' Spell'. Solution: use them a bit more sparingly. When you go to italicize something, ask yourself if it's something the character would really emphasize on, or if they're just making their point.
So there you have it, my critique of Core by Wickfield. Again, please go and read her story using the link above if you haven't yet. Show her some support for being wonderful enough to allow me to use her story on the blog. It takes courage to have someone pick apart your work, believe me. All in all, I'd give Core a 3.75 out of 5. It's an entertaining read, but I wish it were longer and the resolution a bit more satisfying.
A note to Wickfield: Keep up the good work! Seriously. My criticisms aren't meant to try to shut you down, or crush your soul or anything crazy like that. I mention them because I know that as a writer, it's the mistakes we make that improve us, more so than the praise we receive. Take heart, don't give up. This story is brimming with potential! I would really like to see you take another crack at that ending, but if you just want to move on, I'd understand that, too. Just once more, I'd like to say that your story was entertaining and I did enjoy reading it. I wish you the best of luck in life and literature. -Kiba Elunal
Getting basic information out of the way first, Core is a fan fiction for the cartoon Dexter's Laboratory, a show that aired on Cartoon Network from 1995 to 2003. The show features Dexter: Boy Genius who amidst his many over-the-top science experiments, is interrupted by his well-meaning yet destructive older sister Dee Dee. He often also butts heads with his neighbor and rival the sinister Susan Mandark Astronomonov, who, as a male, prefers to go by Mandark. The common foil to Mandark's schemes is his obsessive romantic interest in Dexter's sister, making the relationship a fun but chaotic experience.
This particular fanfiction, however, revolves around the Cartoon's television movie: Ego Trip, which involves time travel through various time lines in an attempt to save the future from the multitude of Mandarks. Core is approximately 39,000 words long over 12 chapters and is completed.
Now let's get down to the critique. Immediately, I have to say that the most noticeable trait while reading the story is the characters. Through out the story, there were very few moments when I questioned a character's behavior and thoughts when compared to their in canon counter parts. To put it simply, Dee Dee acted like Dee Dee, Dexter like Dexter, etc. etc. Their interactions were spot on, in ways where if the show had been made for adults, I would believe that this was the novelization for a movie.
Their behaviors were three dimensional, they had strong solid motivations, and they really fit well with the world that was built around them. As someone who grew up watching the TV show, I could even hear the actual voice actors in my head, reading the dialogue. Any time this happens, it shows skill on the writer's part. Absolutely fantastic work.
In addition, the story was well organized. The pacing was satisfactory, (I'll get to why I won't call it great later), the plot was attention grabbing enough to keep me reading, and all in all, the progression felt natural and well played out. I couldn't find much in the way of plot holes nor were there any confusing transitions that made me question if the time line was out of order. Grammar was excellent; very few mistakes and any that I did spot were negligible at their worst.
Tying back to the previous praise I gave, the characters excelled at moving the plot forward without it feeling forced or too linear. You actually find yourself curious as to what will happen next, which in itself is a good trait to have in writing, not just in fan fiction.
Now on to the criticisms.
Let's start with the pacing, since I mentioned I'd get to it. As I said, the pacing was satisfactory. To be honest, the only think keeping me from giving it higher praise was the length of the story itself. While it didn't necessarily feel rushed, a lot of the events ended so abruptly that I found myself a little taken aback by their resolutions. Specifically, this came in points where something intense would happen to the character, and you'd expect it to be addressed urgently, only for it to not come up until further along in the story.
The best way I can explain it is that it's kind of like the old English dub of Sailor Moon. The very first episode the main character is staring at the shopping mall where all these women are fighting over jewelry because of some demonic influence. The character gets very serious and notes "something is very wrong here." Then immediately goes "I'm going to go home and take a nap." When you're watching it you're like "Oh shit, things are going down," but then SPLAT, the tension falls flat on its face because it isn't acted upon. While it's nowhere near that extreme in Core, it still can cause alienation for what I call 'grazing' readers. These are ones who don't binge, but read each story a chapter at a time.
Specifically, one of the best examples for this I can give is when Mandark drops the photon whip in Dee Dee's apartment. She touches it and reacts to it with an extreme anxiety. It's really played up that this weapon is something sinister and dangerous, to the point where she is scared of the potential that Mandark displays by creating such a thing. She then puts it in her junk drawer and it isn't mentioned, nor comes into play, until the climax of the story. Had I not read it in a day, I'd have probably asked myself "Wait...what whip?"
The same goes for the tail end, when Dee Dee is looking for Dexter. When she goes to see him and tries to talk to him about Mandark, only to be sent away by the secretary with a note saying he hates her, she doesn't really give much of a reason as to why she doesn't press that tense issue. Dee Dee has shown multiple times that when Dexter is rude or mean to her, if she feels the issue is serious and pressing, she will bear the brunt of it regardless. Instead, she just kind of goes home.
Fixing this is easy enough. If something is important in a story, and you show that importance, every now and then you should leave some bread crumbs for your readers giving some indication that yes, it does serve a purpose. Now I'm not saying to bash them over the head with it. No point in mentioning the whip every few paragraphs, but even just a mild scene of Dee Dee contemplating what to do with it (even when putting it in her junk drawer is the solution) shows that the tension is not meant to be short lived. It has its purpose, even if that purpose doesn't come into play until later. Having Dee Dee escorted out by security guards or even having a doctored recording from Dexter telling her to leave would be better tension resolution than just leaving.
However the thing that really hit home for me was the ending of the story. Now I'm normally one for happy endings, so my feelings on the ending should be taken as leaning a bit towards biased, but if you'll indulge me, I'd like to make my case. The end of the story has Dee Dee rushing to the old lab in their original house. Most of the world is in shambles, people are dead, Dexter is no where to be found and Mandark has won. Dee Dee has the idea of using Dexter's time machine to go back and warn him about Mandark in advance, thus preventing the events of the story. Now in defense of the author, I was HUGELY relieved that this didn't happen. If there are two things I dislike it's easy fixes: time travel and stop events from happening, or even worse 'it was all a dream'. It just becomes disappointing.
Dee Dee realizes that her brother's disdain for her would color his perception of events and he wouldn't believe her because he'd expect that she is trying to mess with him. He's egotistical enough that he believes Dee Dee isn't trustworthy, so if he had a message for himself, he'd have sent himself to deliver it. So Dee Dee essentially gives up. The resolution of the story as a whole seems to try to end on a cheerful note, with Dee Dee commenting that 'So long as there is a future, there is hope.' But for me it felt abrupt and honestly, disappointing. So she just gives up and hopes everything will be okay? Considering her altruistic nature through out the rest of the story, and her incredible drive to help her brother, it feels like she just surrendered a little too easily. Even if she would expect her brother to not believe her, I feel like she'd have at least tried to convince him anyway.
Now I know what you're thinking: "Wait, so you don't want her to travel back in time and fix everything, yet you want her to travel back in time and fix everything?" To be perfectly honest, I feel like the story should have gone on longer. Another four or five chapters would have made this thing absolutely golden. It's not so much important as what happens, she could still lose and the world still be screwed, but there are so many avenues she could have taken that she just...doesn't. Dexter is missing: she could go look for him. Not even think about the time machine, so much as she just thinks 'If I can find my brother, he can fix this', which would fit with her view of him through out the whole story. She could take the time machine, but again her brother doesn't believe her, causing her to literally cease to exist, just moments before Dexter goes to develop the core. Personally, I'd prefer the one with her finding Dexter, the two of them reconciling, and together ending Mandark's plot once and for all, but that's because I like happy endings myself.
Final criticism, and it's not like the other two. The use of italics is excessive. Typically when a writer uses italics in dialogue, it's meant to show emphasis. This is fine, but if you over use them, the emphasis has less effect. Then it just seems like the characters are talking like a 'Speak n' Spell'. Solution: use them a bit more sparingly. When you go to italicize something, ask yourself if it's something the character would really emphasize on, or if they're just making their point.
So there you have it, my critique of Core by Wickfield. Again, please go and read her story using the link above if you haven't yet. Show her some support for being wonderful enough to allow me to use her story on the blog. It takes courage to have someone pick apart your work, believe me. All in all, I'd give Core a 3.75 out of 5. It's an entertaining read, but I wish it were longer and the resolution a bit more satisfying.
A note to Wickfield: Keep up the good work! Seriously. My criticisms aren't meant to try to shut you down, or crush your soul or anything crazy like that. I mention them because I know that as a writer, it's the mistakes we make that improve us, more so than the praise we receive. Take heart, don't give up. This story is brimming with potential! I would really like to see you take another crack at that ending, but if you just want to move on, I'd understand that, too. Just once more, I'd like to say that your story was entertaining and I did enjoy reading it. I wish you the best of luck in life and literature. -Kiba Elunal
Saturday, August 20, 2016
Introductions: An Introduction
Hey friends, welcome to the inaugural post for Kiba Elunal's Writing Lessons and Prompts. Simply put, this blog will have tips, tricks, and general advice towards writing that you can apply to your own, as well as some exercises and prompts to expand the knowledge of those lessons. I'm still not sure how often I'm going to be posting these, and I know at the beginning I'll be super stoked and post like five in a day. Let's try to make it once a week, after this first week. But for now, we'll make it however fast I can pump it out.
For those of you who don't know me, I am a fan fiction author on fanfiction.net, under the name KibaElunal. Most of the stories I've written have been for League of Legends, and my most popular one is even in the top 10 Favorited League of Legends fan fiction. In addition to that, I've written two novels, one I've self-published (but am rewriting) and another one I'm hoping to publish through an agency. I also have experience as a teacher, both in Math and Language Arts.
With that stuff out of the way, let's begin our lesson on introductions. Now, when you hear 'introduction', a few things are going to come to mind. The introduction paragraph of an essay (blech), the introduction to your significant other's parents, the introduction of characters, the introduction of plot, the introduction of an introductions post, etc. For this, we're going to be focusing on the introduction of characters to the story.
Later on, I'm going to have a post on character design and creation, but for now, just bear with me. Characters, particularly main characters, have one thing that sets them apart from rocks and sticks and trees, and that's personality. Personality is a pretty well-known word that simply means they have a nature or an state of 'being'. This personality is an essential component to have for any writer, and one of the biggest influences on that personality is that character's introduction.
Character introductions, much like introductions in real life, create a first-impression. Be it good or bad, it's there and there's not really anything you can do about it except for make it better or worse. Say for example, you introduce a character by having her enter a scene holding a bloody knife and a severed head. From that point on, you could do everything in your power to make her the sweetest, kindest, soul and it won't mean shit, because your readers (and the other characters) aren't going to forget that she most likely decapitated someone.
So what are the components of a good Character Introduction? Description, Motivation, Personality. The what, why, and who.
"He was young; a little younger than me, but not by much. His long, chocolate brown, hair was pulled back into a ponytail, seemingly to keep it from his eyes. The clothes he wore were detestable, designed purely for the sake of function rather than elegance, despite his regal demeanor. He certainly wasn't of noble blood, but the way he held his chin high made me wonder whether or not he should have been. His figure wasn't anything special. He was completely in the middle, neither fat nor muscular. Rather, he seemed to have little patience for anything outside of what was completely necessary to do his work. The most stunning aspect of him, though, were his eyes: blue like sapphires and so piercing that you could have sworn he literally was able to glare daggers."
Just from physical observations of Kal, Ahri provides insight not only into what he looks like, but his personality traits as well. From a purely physical perspective we know that Kal is young, has long brown hair, he wears it in a pony tail, his clothes are drab, he's got an average figure, and piercing blue eyes. Now these physical traits on their own mean nothing, but by describing them in greater detail as Ahri does, we can find the significance and impact that they have. Because of her added description of the physical traits, we can identify Kal as a character who is very straight laced and no nonsense. He doesn't put effort into being more attractive, because he doesn't care. He maintains posture and cleanliness to an extent that he gives off an air of pride, showing he's got something of an ego. His eyes show a ferocity in them, meaning he's not one to typically submit to others. All of this screams that Kal is a rule follower and a minimalist of the highest caliber.
So, how do we do it? How can we make a character's physical traits stand out more for our readers. The answer is simple: narration. If you are writing in first person, use the narrator's emotional responses and inner thoughts pluck out assumptions and traits of the character. This can be difficult to 'show, not tell' because you can't necessarily 'show' a physical object with words. I can't 'show' you something is a tree, I just tell you it's a tree. But I can describe that tree in greater detail. By telling your readers more about an aspect of a character, you actually show them a bigger picture.
If you're writing in third person omniscient, you can describe a character's traits directly, while still coloring them in how you want the reader to view them. In ways, this is more accurate than another character's perception because it allows you to really drive home what actually is true and what isn't about the character. Going back to the above example with Kal, as you go through the story, you find that he's actually very understanding of others, or at least he tries to be. The standards he holds himself to aren't the same as the ones he holds others to. Especially when it comes to Ahri, he often lectures others on pulling heroics that are risky and dangerous (hypocritically) because he wishes to keep them safe. His motto itself is: "Rely on me the way I rely on you." Now Ahri wouldn't be able to know that within first person, but in third person omniscient, you can present that to the audience by not eschewing the truth with personal feelings of the other characters.
However, if you're writing in third person limited, what you're going to want to do is explain observable traits that will paint the scene. Here diction (or word choice) is absolutely essential! Even how you describe a character sitting can say so much: whether they're sitting straight, lounging, laying, stretching, cross-legged, kneeling, each one says something different about the character. It's very important to ensure you use the right words for the job, because otherwise it may paint a different image for the character than you'd like. Any third person character introduction is solely for the benefit of the reader. You can explain how the other character's react within that as well, but it's not their perspective you're giving, it's the readers. Whether the reader be all knowing or in the same boat as the others is up to you.
For those of you who don't know me, I am a fan fiction author on fanfiction.net, under the name KibaElunal. Most of the stories I've written have been for League of Legends, and my most popular one is even in the top 10 Favorited League of Legends fan fiction. In addition to that, I've written two novels, one I've self-published (but am rewriting) and another one I'm hoping to publish through an agency. I also have experience as a teacher, both in Math and Language Arts.
With that stuff out of the way, let's begin our lesson on introductions. Now, when you hear 'introduction', a few things are going to come to mind. The introduction paragraph of an essay (blech), the introduction to your significant other's parents, the introduction of characters, the introduction of plot, the introduction of an introductions post, etc. For this, we're going to be focusing on the introduction of characters to the story.
Later on, I'm going to have a post on character design and creation, but for now, just bear with me. Characters, particularly main characters, have one thing that sets them apart from rocks and sticks and trees, and that's personality. Personality is a pretty well-known word that simply means they have a nature or an state of 'being'. This personality is an essential component to have for any writer, and one of the biggest influences on that personality is that character's introduction.
Character introductions, much like introductions in real life, create a first-impression. Be it good or bad, it's there and there's not really anything you can do about it except for make it better or worse. Say for example, you introduce a character by having her enter a scene holding a bloody knife and a severed head. From that point on, you could do everything in your power to make her the sweetest, kindest, soul and it won't mean shit, because your readers (and the other characters) aren't going to forget that she most likely decapitated someone.
So what are the components of a good Character Introduction? Description, Motivation, Personality. The what, why, and who.
Description:
The example I'm going to use is from the Redux of A Boy and His Fox, particularly the introduction of the character Kal to the character Ahri (yes, every character's introduction to another will be different)."He was young; a little younger than me, but not by much. His long, chocolate brown, hair was pulled back into a ponytail, seemingly to keep it from his eyes. The clothes he wore were detestable, designed purely for the sake of function rather than elegance, despite his regal demeanor. He certainly wasn't of noble blood, but the way he held his chin high made me wonder whether or not he should have been. His figure wasn't anything special. He was completely in the middle, neither fat nor muscular. Rather, he seemed to have little patience for anything outside of what was completely necessary to do his work. The most stunning aspect of him, though, were his eyes: blue like sapphires and so piercing that you could have sworn he literally was able to glare daggers."
Just from physical observations of Kal, Ahri provides insight not only into what he looks like, but his personality traits as well. From a purely physical perspective we know that Kal is young, has long brown hair, he wears it in a pony tail, his clothes are drab, he's got an average figure, and piercing blue eyes. Now these physical traits on their own mean nothing, but by describing them in greater detail as Ahri does, we can find the significance and impact that they have. Because of her added description of the physical traits, we can identify Kal as a character who is very straight laced and no nonsense. He doesn't put effort into being more attractive, because he doesn't care. He maintains posture and cleanliness to an extent that he gives off an air of pride, showing he's got something of an ego. His eyes show a ferocity in them, meaning he's not one to typically submit to others. All of this screams that Kal is a rule follower and a minimalist of the highest caliber.
So, how do we do it? How can we make a character's physical traits stand out more for our readers. The answer is simple: narration. If you are writing in first person, use the narrator's emotional responses and inner thoughts pluck out assumptions and traits of the character. This can be difficult to 'show, not tell' because you can't necessarily 'show' a physical object with words. I can't 'show' you something is a tree, I just tell you it's a tree. But I can describe that tree in greater detail. By telling your readers more about an aspect of a character, you actually show them a bigger picture.
If you're writing in third person omniscient, you can describe a character's traits directly, while still coloring them in how you want the reader to view them. In ways, this is more accurate than another character's perception because it allows you to really drive home what actually is true and what isn't about the character. Going back to the above example with Kal, as you go through the story, you find that he's actually very understanding of others, or at least he tries to be. The standards he holds himself to aren't the same as the ones he holds others to. Especially when it comes to Ahri, he often lectures others on pulling heroics that are risky and dangerous (hypocritically) because he wishes to keep them safe. His motto itself is: "Rely on me the way I rely on you." Now Ahri wouldn't be able to know that within first person, but in third person omniscient, you can present that to the audience by not eschewing the truth with personal feelings of the other characters.
However, if you're writing in third person limited, what you're going to want to do is explain observable traits that will paint the scene. Here diction (or word choice) is absolutely essential! Even how you describe a character sitting can say so much: whether they're sitting straight, lounging, laying, stretching, cross-legged, kneeling, each one says something different about the character. It's very important to ensure you use the right words for the job, because otherwise it may paint a different image for the character than you'd like. Any third person character introduction is solely for the benefit of the reader. You can explain how the other character's react within that as well, but it's not their perspective you're giving, it's the readers. Whether the reader be all knowing or in the same boat as the others is up to you.
Motivation:
If description feels odd to you, that's okay. When over and over again your writing instructors and critics hammer in 'Show, don't tell', it's awkward to do a lot of telling in order to do a bit of showing. Motivation, however, will most likely be more your speed. A character's motivation is their sense of purpose. It's what drives them to do the things they do. Robin Hood, for example, steals from the corrupt Prince John and returns that gold to the poor. Why? Well, going into Sir Robin of Loxley's backstory, we find that he was an archer for King Richard, but when he returned home, he found his noble house in tatters and that the people were suffering. So, he seeks to undo the wrongs that were committed by Prince John in an attempt to regain his noble standing, and to help the people. This motivation can be used to paint an introduction without even having to set up a backstory through the magic of exposition.
Perhaps soon after your characters meet, they swap stories around the campfire. Sometimes a character will just outright say "Hello, I'm here to do this." A little bland, but you get the picture. Now a character's motivation doesn't have to be revealed as soon as the character is. Motivation is a bit like poker. You can play your hand close to your chest or you can put it all in, and there are appropriate times for both.
In first person writing, when introducing character other than the narrator, the narrator typically draws their own dots into what they think another's motivations are. Whether they're right or not is up to you, but it's important to show that this motivation they come up with is one that is solely in their head. As people, we make assumptions. We have to in order to live, literally. Imagine if you had to check every morning to ensure that your floor was still beneath your bed, or that every hair on your head has grown. You'd spend an endless amount of time just making sure your internal organs are functioning. That being said, your narrator is going to make assumptions as well. In A Boy and His Fox: Redux, Ahri misleads Kal into believing her motivations to be other than what they actually are, albeit she is the one presently narrating, rather than Kal. You'll note how she uses words and actions to falsify a personality that later is revealed to be a front she uses to keep him at arm's length.
He let out a frustrated huff, and I knew I was getting under his skin. This was perfect. The less he liked me, the better. It wasn't as if he had a choice in who would be his champion anyway, but if the two of us could hit that sweet spot of 'just co-workers' I knew it would be for the best. "So...Ahri, isn't it?" He asked, returning to his own seat. "What is it that made you want to join the League?"
I placed my finger cutely to my lips as I pretended to think really hard about his question. I couldn't let my guard down yet, I still needed to test him to ensure he was the perfect one. "Well, I suppose it was because I was tired of sleeping with a different man every night." I commented, causing him to open his eyes in shock.
"Excuse me?!"
"You heard me, Summoner. I know you're not deaf. Maybe I should put it in little kid words, so it's easier for you to understand." I could see the rage seething beneath his exterior, but even still he remained quiet as I continued. "You see, I wasn't always the way you see me now. I was born as a fox, though I didn't ever really feel like I fit in." He was beginning to soften up, so I quickly giggled before adding, "Don't go pitying me there summoner. I'm far from the helpless damsel that I know you fantasize about having."
Now for third person omniscient, you'll be doing a heck of a lot more showing than first person. Being all knowing, it may be tempting to just outright say your character's motivation, but believe me, in the end it's better to let readers come up with their own conclusions based on the evidence that you give them. Using the above example, put yourself in the place of Ahri and think about how she projects on Kal in order to get him to believe what she wants him to. You're going to do the same thing as her, EXCEPT, saying what the motivation is. Instead, you'll let your character's actions, feelings, and dialogue dictate a cloudy understanding of their motives that sharpens as the character develops. You'll note in the above example, by narrating her inner thoughts (or in omniscient's case, explaining their inner thoughts to the audience), Ahri gives a hint to her actual motive, as well as the motive presented to another character.
With third person limited, you won't be changing much from the formula for third person omniscient, except that you'll be focusing much more on the character's actions and dialogue, and less on their feelings. You're presenting to your readers a scene as if they were staring into a peephole and watching it from above. They only know as much as the characters in the scene do, so you'll use that and let them draw their own conclusions by altering the character's behavior rather than narrating their thoughts.
Personality:
Okay guys, now for the really tricky part. Personality, unlike motives, is how a character behaves in certain circumstances. I say this is tricky because personality is not something that you can just throw out to the readers like a steak to a hungry lion. The truth is it can take years to know a person's true personality for every situation, but when you're writing, your readers aren't going to want to wait that long, so you'll have to speed it up a bit, without instantly jumping head first into it.
Now you may have noticed something interesting as we've been going along. In the first segment, we used description to denote personality. For motivation, we used personality to draw it out. That's because these three are interconnected. If description and motivation are the pieces of your character, personality is the glue that holds them together. It's their flavor.
Now I'm going to get psychological on you guys for a moment. One of the most accurate personality tests in existence today is the Myers-Briggs test. They have you answer a bunch of statements about yourself as true or false and give you four letters that identify your typing. There are sixteen different personality types made of four letter pairs: I/E N/S F/T J/P. Introverted/Extroverted, iNtuition/Sensing, Feeling/Thinking, Judging/Perceiving.
Now I'm not going to tell you to run every character you make through the Myers-Briggs test. But I am going to tell you to consider the pairs and see which traits are better for your character. Kal, as an example, is an introvert. He's not much for chit-chat and small talk. He's also a Senser, he'd much rather look before he leaps than to trust his gut. He's more Feeling, despite that he puts on an air of logic, in the end his emotions tend to call the shots. Finally, he's Judging over perceiving. Despite their names, this is actually an indication of the life style they prefer. A Judging individual like Kal, prefers a rigid and well organized life style. This would make him an ISFJ: the Defender personality type. He can be warm and compassionate, and he would do anything to protect the people he cares about.
So how do we explain these personalities in our work? Well, funnily enough, we don't. A personality is something that is experienced, not something that can be explained. We use personality to prove motivations, and we use description to help support personality. If you have your character's motives and your character's descriptions, congratulations, you've already painted their personality. The exercise I'm going to include is one that can help you develop a character's personality, which in turn can trickle down into letting you form descriptions and motivations to suit them.
Here's your exercise:
Pick a character you've already created, original or otherwise. Then come up with twenty statements explaining that character in a way you would explain them to a friend. Use the structure "[Insert Name] is the sort of person who ______." Try to be more abstract in this rather than literal.
A few ones I've used for Kal are
"Kal is the sort of person who would wait for the cross walk, even if there were no cars around."
"Kal is the sort of person who would rather take a bullet to the head than a loved one take it in the arm."
"Kal is the sort of person who hates celebrating a birthday, because celebrations are meant for achievements."
That concludes our lesson on Character Introductions. I hope it's helped some of you. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or want to share your exercise for some feedback. Thanks for your support!
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