For those of you who are big Steven Moffat fans, you may have seen a little series called Jekyll. It was a modern retelling of the classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde story, with a pretty awesome twist. Each ‘episode’ is about the length of a short movie, so if you do intend on watching it, be sure to strap in for the afternoon. Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because at one point, Hyde delivers a pretty witty line: “Fighting is just like sex, except there’s a winner.”
Arguments aside about whether or not you can have a winner in sex (ask any woman; they’ll tell you there are certainly losers), the adage holds true when it comes to writing, with a few differences. If you have started reading this and have somehow skipped all of the warnings I’ve slapped everywhere, I’ll repeat it here in an obnoxious way to make sure everyone understands: THIS POST IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ SOMETHING DIRTY, ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH EROTICA, OR UNDER 18 JUST SKIP THIS POST! THERE ARE PLENTY OF CLEAN TIPS ELSEWHERE ON THE PAGE!
Right then, now that that’s out of the way. Let’s start with the basics. When a man and a woman really love each other...just kidding. In complete seriousness, there are, from my perspective, three kinds of sex writing: fap-worthy, expositional, and sleepers. I imagine some of you are scratching your heads a little bit, so I’ll explain.
Let’s start with fap-worthy. ‘Fapping’ is internet slang for the act of masturbation (typically for males, but can be for either). To say that an erotic text is ‘fap-worthy’ means that it’s designed for the sake of sexual enjoyment. Typically, while this can be emotional, it’s meant to be more physical and raw than the other two types. The key example (which I really hate using) is 50 Shades of Gray. Ignoring the fact that color theory states there are only about 34 discernable shades of achromatic grays, the ridiculousness that something so badly written could be nominated for a nobel prize in literature, and that somehow she managed to get movie rights while also stomping on the hopes and dreams of the BDSM community, the 50 Shades series is an excellent example of material that is (read tries) to be fap-worthy. You can claim all you want that it’s a “romance” novel, but we all know that no one picks up those books for the plot.
When writing fap-worthy erotica, it’s important to realize two things: that realism isn’t important and that (like fighting) it’s all about movement. This is why I say 50 Shades tries to be fap-worthy. Dancing inner goddesses do not count as physical movement. Right, so throwing out that salt, let’s get into the meat of it, no pun intended. When you’re writing fap-worthy, it’s important to remember that people can be brought to arousal literally through just about anything. Go as crazy or as mundane as you like, if you manage to write it well, you’ll have done your job. Now I’m going to separate my advice into sections: for virgins and for non-virgins, as well as for both. It’s often said that virgins write the best fap-worthy erotica. This is because they don’t typically know how sex works from a physical sense, so they can conjure up hot, yet unrealistic scenarios that serve to excite. However, I’ve read some good work from non-virgins, so while I don’t necessarily subscribe to the whole idea that you have to have experience to write smut, I don’t think virgins have an advantage either. The way you’re going to write is going to be different depending on your experiences, so strap in. It’s going to be a hell of a ride.
Virgins:
Rule one: Research. No, I don’t mean watching porn. I mean honest to god, reading technical information on wikipedia, learning anatomy like an OB Gyn, putting aside what you think you know for a second, research. Here’s the reason why. Despite what I mentioned earlier about not needing to be realistic, non-virgins and people who know better will call you out if they see something that makes ZERO sense. The typical rule of the internet about identifying women on the internet versus men pretending to be women, if they say they want you to f*ck them in their clit, surprise! They’re a man.
Basic things you should know as a man: girls are not always lactating, women don’t pee out of their vaginas, a clit is not a hole, and sweet mother of God, the clit is definitely important. Women do fake it, no nothing’s wrong with you if you can’t tell, pulling out doesn’t work, and women enjoy cunnilingus as much as guys enjoy blowjobs, so stop being selfish. If you’re wondering why your lady partner always wants foreplay, it’s because women have a natural lubrication that comes out during sexual arousal. A hymen is not a virginity seal. It’s very common for women to have their hymens torn before they have sex, and even if its not torn, that doesn’t mean its sealed up until you burst through it. Seriously watch the episode of Adam Ruins Everything on the hymen. You can find it on youtube. Take notes, this knowledge is essential for your love life, if not your writing career.
Don’t snicker ladies, I’ve met some girls who didn’t know their stuff either. For example, once I met a girl who thought guys liked it when you jam your fingernail down his urethra (the hole on his dick). Unless they’re into pain, that’s not a thing. Despite that we (in America) have a rather sexualized culture, when it comes to sexual education we are severely lacking. So basic things for women: While sensitive, rubbing a dude’s balls or tip alone will not typically get him off. Despite having a prostate, men are, on average, just as uncomfortable (if not more) with anal play as women are, even if it does feel good. It is difficult for men to tell when a woman has climaxed, as most of you already know from reputation. Don’t fault us, we can’t read minds. On average, a man who’s great at sex will make a woman orgasm two to three times. More than that is highly unlikely, if you get into double digits you’re talking about a unicorn. Scientifically speaking, men fall asleep after sex because ejaculation takes quite a bit of physical exertion. As concerning as it may be that we do use the same hole for peeing as we do for f*cking, rest easy: when aroused, a man’s body typically releases an anti-diuretic that prevents him from peeing. If your man runs to the bathroom immediately after sex, it’s because his body is now reminding him that his dick does actually have a different purpose (which he’ll most likely have forgotten in the middle of it all). Finally, while it’s not an excuse for any sort of pressure on a lady to engage in -ahem- activities, there is such a thing as blue balls. It is not a rumor. If we don’t get off it can hurt, but honestly, if you don’t want to do something and a guy tries to pull that excuse on you, point him to the bathroom and tell him to handle it himself. If he says he can’t, he’s a liar, so let him suffer it out.
If you already knew all this stuff, congratulations, you’re a step ahead of the game. If not, read up. Time for some research. Just one last piece of knowledge for both sides: sex doesn’t have to hurt for a girl the first time. They don’t always bleed. While you do require a bit more gentle caution the first time, it is not always this necessary evil to tear her up.
So other than biological know how, what more do you need to know? Well, it differs from situation to situation. I’d recommend checking out blogs from the opposite sex where they describe how certain stimulations feel. If you’re writing something and are trying to find new moves, look up some sex positions. The whole internet is chock full of resources at your disposal. Just...don’t use yahoo answers.
Non-Virgins: You can use all the weird crazy stuff even if you know better. You don’t have to worry about cooldown times like you’re playing a video game, or the logistics of size (unless you want to), or moral conundrums in regards to internet etiquette (looking at you furries). Is it unrealistic that a male ejaculates five times in what is supposed to be a twenty minute romp? Yes. Does anyone actually care? No. Your job, more than anything is to entertain with fap-worthy smut, not to make a how-to guide. Now if you’re breaking the rules and reading both sections, that’s fine. You’ll notice the advice I give is a bit conflicting. That’s because for them, it’s more important to learn what is realistic for essential components. For non-virgins, it’s a bit easier to determine what has more leeway with readers and what obviously doesn’t work.
Still you’re curious what advice I have for you that I didn’t give the virgins. I can sum it up in one word: fetishes. Fetishes are like phobias, everyone has them and there’s one for just about everything.You guys already know this stuff, I’m not going to lecture you on it, but I’ll say this: even the craziest fetishes are fair game in writing. If you’re worried about morality from a legal perspective, the first amendment protects you from anything so long as it is merely a false depiction or a description of something illegal. It’s kind of in the same ballpark as writing a murder. So long as you aren’t actually doing it, you’re in the clear.
Even if you’re not willing to experiment in real life, I highly encourage you to experiment sexually in writing. I’ve challenged myself in a particular story to write smut that escalates (or deescalates) further into depravity with every chapter, because I’m curious at what point I (or my readers) decide to jump ship on the project. Nine chapters later, I’m still not there. Point is, don’t be scared to get nasty. Some people like it better that way.
Both: All right, now that that’s out of the way. Welcome back to those of you who had to skip around stuff. As I mentioned in the previous blog, physical interactions are all about description. Sex is no exception to that. It really boils down to the type of sex you’re writing that changes what you’re describing. For fap-worthy, focus more on the physical. Sensations, movements, sounds, smells, tastes, etc. Just like in actual sex, it’s 75% physical, 25% emotional. Secondly, focus on your diction. Word usage is very important. I promise you, nothing ends the mood faster than the wrong synonym in the wrong place. We’re writing sex, there’s no need to be timid or shy. Use dick or pussy more than you use penis and vagina. I can tell you right now, there are over (and yes I looked this up) 220 different words to refer to a woman’s vagina. Not all of them are great, not all of them are intuitive, but mixing it up is much better than using one of those awkward words to bring the action to a halt. If you have a hard time telling, try this: if you can’t say the word in one of your sentences without keeping a straight face, throw it to the curb and find something else.
This time, I’m going to give you guys the worst and the best I have for examples. The first is from the first chapter of the story I mentioned in the non-virgin section. The second is from an infamous Harry Potter fanfiction called ‘My Immortal’. I recommend reading it for a laugh if nothing else.
Try like this:
“I spread my legs further as he began to pant heavily, the lust in his eyes growing more desperate by the second as he struggled to control himself from simply leaping upon me the moment I released him. He'd come a far way since I first began training him. Hiking up my skirt, I revealed the silken panties that were now moist with my own desire and watched as he licked his lips in anticipation. I let my hands fall from his hair, moving to scratch him under his chin. He purred happily, tilting his chin to attempt to keep my finger after it had left. "Go on then…you know what your Mistress desires." He nodded, crawling forward and leaving a trail of kisses up my thigh until he pressed himself between them, inhaling deeply to become drunk on my desire.
Gently, he allowed his hands to run along my outer legs, and despite his mild disobedience of my earlier warning, I let it slide, if only because of the pleasure that his lips granted me as they brushed my navel. Gently his teeth ran along my flesh, catching upon the delicate silk as he slowly tugged them down my body. When at last he removed them from my ankles, his eyes looked up to me expectantly, as though he were sending a prayer to his Goddess in thanks. And as his Goddess, I rewarded him with a nod, allowing him to proceed. He nuzzled against my foot, planting kisses as he had earlier that trailed up my legs at a painfully slow rate. Already I began to crave the feeling of his tongue, my fingers that had begun to stroke myself in anticipation serving as a poor substitute. When his lips at last reached me mound, he ran his tongue along my slit sending fiery waves of excitement through me.
I wouldn't grant him the satisfaction of one of my moans however, not until he finally wrapped his lips around my clit. The pleasure his action granted was sensational, and with it my head fell backward, my lips parting in sheer ecstasy. Already my folds had begun to drip with lust, until unable to stand his teasing anymore I gripped his head tightly and roughly pulled it against my snatch. Unable to breathe, he immediately began to struggle, only serving to increase my excitement further. He knew what he had to do if he wanted me to release him, and as soon as his initial panic subsided to make way for his obedience, his tongue slipped into my nether lips to taste me. Only then did a soft moan escape from my lips, a suitable reward for the service he was providing.” -Kiba Elunal, Lusty Ionian Butler Ch. 1
Not like this:
“Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was earing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.
And then...suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
"Oh! Oh! Oh!" I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm.” (SIC) - Tara Gilesbie, My Immortal Ch. 4
If you’re looking for some interactive reading that will help you to break down the barriers, and/or give you a good example of fap-worthy erotica, I recommend playing a little game called Corruption of Champions. It’s completely free and doesn’t require a download. It’s definitely NSFW, though it is only text, no images. Here’s a link: https://www.fenoxo.com/play-games/ I do not take any credit for that work. That’s all Fenoxo and the collaborators. (A word to the wise, read up on the items using the CoC wiki while you’re playing to avoid any unintended transformations)
Moving right along!
Next we get into expositional smut. Like fap-worthy, expositional smut can be sexy and fun, but unlike fap-worthy it’s more for emotional and story purposes than it is for sexual enjoyment. What do I mean by this? Well, unlike straight up erotica, some romance stories want to include sex because, for a lot of people, sex is viewed as the most intimate physical expression of love. Even still, the sex isn’t meant to be porn, so much as it is to be a meaningful scene, as important as any kiss in the rain or moonlight stroll. But there’s a dark side to expositional as well, and I’ll get into that later.
Think about it like the sex scene in The Notebook. Is it hot? Yes, but you wouldn’t just drop your trousers and start masturbating to it. A great example of this is in the beginning of Stardust by Neil Gaiman. It’s a pretty detailed scene, and it comes as a bit of a shock if you’re not prepared for its sudden appearance.
So what do we do different for expositional that we don’t do for fap-worthy? We know the two are similar, but what really sets them apart is tone. Like fap-worthy, word usage is key. However, it’s more important to use narrative than description when you’re writing these scenes. For exposition, we’re not focusing on what the characters are doing, we’re focused on what the characters are feeling.
To draw a connection, if fap-worthy is a fist fight, exposition is definitely a sci-fi shoot out. When you’re writing an expositional sex scene, ask yourself a few questions: Is there a more emotional way to say this? Does this accurately capture the mood of the scene? Is my tone not serious enough? Am I being too crude?
I know that that last one is baffling. ‘Too crude for a sex scene?’ Yes. Remember that this tone is meant to be more real. The rules for fap-worthy in regards to realistic versus unrealistic is not in the same effect here. You want the people reading the story to take the scene seriously, not treat it like pornography.
“What about that dark side you mentioned earlier?”
Expositional is not just for positive sexual scenes. While romance is definitely one main motivator, bear in mind that some situations involving sex are not meant to be seen in a positive light. Specifically, I’m talking about scenes depicting rape or sexual abuse. If you’ve ever read The Lovely Bones, you’ll understand where I’m coming from here. The scene in which the main character is raped and killed is an exceptionally powerful one, but as is with any time you talk about such a topic, writing rape is an extremely difficult subject to tackle. Morally and career-wise, you do not want to seem like you are making light of this topic, any more than you’d make light of suicide or other such thing. It’s very thin ice writing rape, and if done improperly can have harsh consequences on your reputation and your success as a writer.
Note, I’m not talking about people being comfortable with your writing on the subject. They’re going to be uncomfortable. In fact, being uncomfortable is a good thing, because it means that they’re feeling just the same as they would be if they were witnessing it first hand. I’m going to include two passages as examples of expositional. The second one is extremely graphic. I am giving you this warning in advance, so if you do not want to read it, skip over it. Got it?
A little backstory on this first passage: the main character and his fiance have just become engaged. Since she was 14 (she’s now 25), his fiance’s soul was stuck in that of a robot. Once he managed to put her back into her real body, she has been struggling with basic bodily functions (like sleeping, eating, using the bathroom, etc.). Specifically, this takes place after a rather heartfelt scene after she’s had an accident, being unable to control her bladder. The main character washes her clothes and their sheets, while she gets ready for bed again.
As I started the washing machine, I turned to find her already laying on the bed, head perched on the pillow and staring up at me. Flicking off the lights, I came and slid in behind her, pressing against her body to keep it warm. "This is the best moment in my life," she whispered to me.
"Me too," I whispered back, arms wrapping around her. I could feel her body's temperature rising steadily in my grasp. "I've never been happier."
She smiled to herself, snuggling closer. "You know," she murmured, "we still haven't...you know…"
"I didn't want to rush it," I explained.
"Thank you for that," she replied, taking my hand in hers. Guiding it down, she placed it against her thigh. "M-maybe we could try it?"
I was surprised by how forward her advance was. I hesitated for a moment before finally lifting the shirt up to her navel. Using my other hand, I began to gently caress her pussy lips, already slightly damp.
Her entire body tensed up as her breath became ragged. Had she never touched herself before? Of course not, don't be stupid, I told myself. She was a machine. No point in having sexual organs.
"Does it feel good?" I asked.
The only reply she gave was a low moan as she tried desperately to push herself against me more. After another moment, I slid my fingers inside of her. I began to tickle her insides as my other hand found its way to her breast, our hips smashed together as she writhed excitedly in my arms.
I was certain that now she could feel my erection on the small of her back as I continued to explore and play with her body. Deciding to perhaps spice things up with some dirty talk, I kissed her neck before allowing a puff of hot breath to slip along her ear. "Mmm, you're pussy is so hot and tight, Ori," I whispered, causing her body to shudder again. "I love the way it sucks on my fingers."
"I...I never imagined...it'd feel like this," she panted. "It feels so good, I can't describe it. I can't even imagine what sex would be like."
"There's one way to find out."
Turning over to face me, her lips crashed against mine. Our legs wove together as we became a mess of limbs and passion. "H-have you ever done this b-before?" she asked.
"N-no," I replied. "I mean...once, almost, but no, I didn't."
"Me neither."
Both of us smiled nervously at one another before returning to our kissing. My throbbing flesh was pinned upwards between us until with a bit of shuffling, we'd managed to somehow coordinate ourselves so that my tip was now pressing upward into her. She clung to me tightly, spreading her thighs to give me more room to maneuver as we awkwardly tried to make love.
"H-how's this?" I asked, guiding her slowly on to me.
"It feels...nice," she replied. "But you're...umm...not inside me, yet." Her voice seemed to shrink away with every word, unsure of what to say. Each of us could tell that the other was trying our best, even though we were absolutely clueless.
"Okay, what if I…" After readjusting, suddenly there was a slippery feeling of pleasure that wrapped around me, tightening in a way that made me lose my breath.
"Yep, you're in," she moaned, eyes half closed and heart racing in her chest. "Holy shit…"
That actually shocked me. It was the first time I'd ever heard Orianna curse. But to be honest, those two words encompassed all of the thoughts that zipped in and out of my brain before leaving me in nothing more than pleasure. "I'm...I'm going to try to go deeper," I informed her, my hands resting on her hips and pulling her downward on to me.
"D-deeper? Oh Gods...no wonder everyone likes this so much." Her pussy lips clamped down around my tool, as if she were trying to pull me inside of her, only for her body to grip me so hard that I couldn't move. And it was wonderful!
For the first time, it was like Orianna and I were floating together in a poetic ocean of love and intimacy. What we thought was the closest we'd become suddenly seemed like a joke as our bodies struggled to occupy the same space and time as one.
I opened my mouth to try to talk, to tell her how wonderful it felt, but instead I found that all that could emit was a soft and quiet moan. Seeming to take the hint, she sank even further on to me, until finally, her pelvis was pressed against mine.” -Kiba Elunal, The Grinding of the Gears: Epilogue
Okay, now for the graphic one. Context: the narrator is a champion in the League of Legends. Her current ‘summoner’ (the person who controls her on the battlefield) has recently lost his wife on a mission, and the narrator is now facing down with an old friend of her summoner (she’s 19) who is upset that he has changed alliances to a rival kingdom. The narrator has recently made a romantic advance on her summoner, but it ended up being rougher than she’d expected. This is because her summoner has started going insane.
“Pivoting on my heel, I spun quickly, causing her to hesitate. Using my angular momentum, I whirled about before releasing a fierce tornado kick to the side of her head that sent her to her knees. I had to say that I was impressed by Kal's know-how. That kick was difficult for me to master, so being able to replicate it so well was a show of just what he could do while he was Summoning.
"At least I wasn't some slut for a villain," Lux gasped, trying to recover. "Though I guess you did get promoted to the slut of an asshole."
Oh, this bitch was really going to get it now. I felt a dull throbbing in my head as I easily wrenched her scepter from her before striking her hard in her face. The downed light mage tried to scramble away from me, but grabbing her by the front of her shirt, I easily dragged her into the woods. What was Kal doing with my body? Maybe he wanted to scare the piss out of her for her comment. He did tend to lean towards chivalry.
Hurling her face-first to the ground, I straddled her before grasping a thick vine and binding her hands behind her back. So much for the chivalry. Memories of the previous night began to flash in my mind as my dagger started to cut through the leather straps of her armor. "Kat, what are you doing?" Lux asked, her voice trembling.
"I...I don't know…" I admitted as my body continued moving on its own accord. My knife easily sliced through the fabric of her shirt and tight leggings, cutting them from her. Kal, stop! I echoed through the telepathic link. This is going way too far!
He didn't respond, only continuing until at last she was completely naked in the dirt. "Kat!" Well if he wouldn't listen, then I only had one choice. I closed my eyes and began to concentrate hard on breaking our connection, only for an intense pain to spike through my head.
Flipping her over so I was on her stomach, she looked up at me with terrified eyes as the edge of my dagger rested on her collar bone. I tried again to break the connection, only for the same effect to happen. It hurt so badly, but I had to try: both for Kal's sake and Lux's.
Even still, my body moved, almost flawlessly to lean forward and force my lips against hers. She let out a surprised squeal as I was forced to kiss her against my will. What the fuck was Kal doing?!
My tongue slipped out to create a slippery trail of glistening spit down her trembling throat. I could only imagine the horror her Summoner was experiencing watching this. Her entire body became covered in goosebumps as I reached her breasts, circling her nipples with my tongue. Lux, I'm so sorry! KAL! Please stop this! My thoughts were full of panic as I begged again and again, but still, there was no reply. I roughly squeezed her blossoming breast, wrapping my mouth around as much of it as physically possible and sinking my teeth into the sensitive flesh.
She let out a screech of pain as the foul taste of blood began to ooze into my maw. Kal had gone off the fucking deep end. When I pulled away from her, she looked up at me, silently pleading for me to help her but try as I might I couldn't do a thing.
The pain in my skull was getting more intense by the second and even still the shakes weren't coming. When did Kal become this powerful?! How could he fully control me and I not fight back even a little? Any small amount of control I could get would do, but I couldn't. "This is what naughty sluts get," I hissed. Now he could force me to speak as well? Memories of last night again bubbled to the surface. It was him! He was the reason for my strange behavior! "Lux, this isn't me!" I quickly managed to get out before what felt like an icepick being lodged in my skull shut me up again.
"Kal…" Lux murmured as I kissed down her stomach to crouch beneath her legs. "Kal, I'm really sorry! I didn't...I didn't really mean it," she tried, but I knew that for this new sadistic side it was too late for apologies. As my tongue flicked her young clit, she let out a moan of surprise.
"You like to call people sluts, but it seems to me like you're more of a slut than anyone. Look...you're even wet already before the fun has begun." Grasping her hips, my tongue speared into her as my cheeks burned a bright red in shame. Her moans began to fill the woods around us. She couldn't even control herself as her back arched against both of our wills.
"Kal, come on," she begged. "Think of Kat! Imagine how scared she is right now! You're forcing her to...nngh...rape me! Please, Kal, just let us both go, I won't say a word, I promise!" In answer to her pleas, I drug my teeth against her clit. She gave a pained hiss, but even still her fluids began to flow faster. "Kal!"
Kal! Fucking listen to her, please! She is begging you to let her go! This isn't the way to do this! My fingernails sank into her flesh as I lapped at her moist cunt, my body giving sensual moans against my will as I screamed inside of my mind for control. No matter how hard I tried, my will wasn't a match for Kal's Summoning. STOP KAL, PLEASE!
"Oh Gods, oh Gods, oh Gods," Lux repeated over and over again as her legs squirmed uselessly in the dirt beneath me. "This...this isn't right, Kal! Please," she whined, "I don't want this! I'm sorry for what I said to you! I know you were just hurting, but please!" Her whimpers and moans dissolved into sobs as she began to openly weep beneath me.
Kal! Removing my tongue, I set aside my dagger before slipping three fingers into her tight snatch. I began to pump her, slowly at first before speeding up my pace. Her head tilted back, her lips open in a gasp torn between horror and physical ecstasy.
"St-stop!" Lux stammered, her body unable to fight against the quickly mounting pleasure. Instead, he simply added another finger. He was nearly fisting her now, his thumb rubbing small circles on her sensitive clit until she seized up, tightening around my fingers and cumming.
Okay Kal! She came! You proved she's a slut, now stop! Just let her go! He ignored me, cupping as much of her femjuices as he could from her and slowly drizzling them into her open mouth. She sputtered, but still swallowed quite a bit of it. "Now who's a slut?" I whispered with words that weren't my own. "Next time you insult my pet, you'd better be prepared for the consequences."
I started to get up. It was over. When we got back, I had to turn Kal over to the League. There was mourning the loss of your wife and then there was this! Now he'd gone too far over the line and there would be no coming back from it. "What happened to you?" she whined behind me. "I used...I used to look up to you. I used to think you were a hero. You did everything you could to save Valoran. You even saved me. You were my hero, Kal. Now...you're a monster. You're no better than Magnus."” - Kiba Elunal, A Kat and Her Man Ch. 9
You’ll notice in both passages, the stories utilize mood and tone to indicate that the sex scene isn’t meant to be erotic. It’s a scene where our physical desires are meant to take a back seat to our emotions. In the first, it’s about a couple of soon-to-be newly weds consummating their love for the first time. The second is meant to be about fear and discomfort of being unable to control one’s own body and being forced to watch someone else commit horrible crimes with it.
Finally, we’re at sleepers. Sleepers are expositional lite. Sometimes, you may want to include a sex scene in a book that may be geared towards High Schoolers or possibly even middle schoolers. After all, teenage pregnancy is a thing, but you’re not comfortable writing out something as intimate as expositional or as arousing as fap-worthy. That’s where sleepers come in.
A sleeper is a sex scene that uses vague words and description in order to give the implication of sex without using graphic details that may be too much for younger audiences. Again, The Lovely Bones has an excellent example of a good sleeper. The main character’s ghost comes back to possess the body of an ex-classmate so she can have sex with the man who was her boyfriend before she died. It’s an emotional scene, and while both characters are of age at the time, her mentality is still that of a teenager.
Sleepers are much easier compared to the other two. Think of the example I provided from My Immortal on how not to write a fap-worthy. Now imagine it much better written and you have the same sort of concept. The key here is not to dwell on the sex for too long. Don’t use your description for the physical interaction, but like exposition focus on the mood and tone. Unlike exposition, focus on it almost completely with only using certain words or phrases to indicate their actions. We have lots of terms for sex: making love, fucking, screwing, doing it, the horizontal hokey-pokey, the greased up weasel tango. The list really goes on. Use those phrases in a way that you feel flows natural with the story in order to convey such things.
I only have one example for you guys this time. It’s similar to the dark scene posted above in that it’s the same main character and her summoner, though the story this sample is from is much more light hearted. The above events didn’t occur, he didn’t go crazy, and he’s just recovering now from his wife’s death.
“I sighed. "Oh Kal, whatever am I going to do with you?"
"That," he whispered, "is entirely up to you. I've got to warn you though, I may not be very great. I have had a pretty long dry spell after all."
"Lux and Ahri must have liked you for some reason, because it sure isn't your looks."
"Oh-ho! All hail Kat, queen of the burns! That was a good one, I think I actually felt pieces of my self-esteem chipping away."
I stopped him again, pressing him up against a tree. "Shut up and kiss me, you fool," I purred before the two of us were once more locked in each other's embrace. That night, under the stars, for the first of many, many times the two of us made love.
When we finally did manage to make it back home, the sun was already starting to rise over the horizon. Giggling and shushing each other like teenagers sneaking in after a night of debauchery, the two of us slipped into the grand foyer, going towards the stairs before someone cleared their throat behind us.
Turning back to see Talon, his arms crossed, he had a sour but perplexed look on his face. "I know the walk of shame when I see it, but both of you? Really? I'm surprised at you Lady Du Couteau. Your father has raised you better. And you, Kal? I thought you were still in mourning."
I went to explain, but Kal cut me off. "Yeah, we both met someone at the party last night. My girl was a certifiable freak, but her body," he clicked his tongue, "perfect ten out of ten." Catching on, I tried to keep a straight face.
"Yeah, mine was okay. A little boring. He didn't last very long."
"Really?" Kal squeaked, before clearing his throat. "I mean, that's so surprising. He looked like the sort of guy who would be really good at that sort of thing."
"I guess it just goes to show you that you can't judge a book by the size of its dick...I mean by its cover. Like seriously, he just laid there like a plank of wood."
"Well, I mean he was pretty tired. I heard that some crazy bitch dragged him through the jungle to the party because she bought the wrong tickets."
"I'm sorry, she bought the wrong tickets? Because from what I heard, he was the one who bought the wrong tickets."
"Yeah, well at least he didn't fall into a pit."
"Well at least she didn't cry in front of a crowd."
"Bullshit! She totally did! I saw how she teared up when he gave his speech."
"She just had something in her eye!"
"Did not!"
"Did so!"
"Yeah well, at least he didn't make weird noises when he was having sex."
"Well, at least she was able to get herself off, because he sure couldn't."
"So help me, Kat I will drag you upstairs and throw you down before…" he paused remembering that Talon was standing right there, still looking utterly lost, "having a well organized debate, with facts and flow charts. I've even got a slide show."
My smile widened across my face. "Oh really? How long is this slide show?" I asked, as he took me into his arms.
He simply shrugged, tilting me backwards to kiss my throat as I gave a mix between a purr and a giggle. "As long as you want it to be, babe."” -Kiba Elunal, Beauty in Love Part 2
As you can see, it’s not meant to be arousing, but the emotions there are far less serious than in exposition. It’s meant to be more light hearted and cheerful, without the in depth detail of their engagements. Use sleepers sparingly. You don’t want your entire erotica to be full of them, obviously, or your readers will just toss your book back on the shelf and move along. They’re good for filling in gaps, but they themselves do not make a scene.
For this week’s writing exercise, try to write one of each types of sex scene. For fap-worthy and exposition, make it no longer than 2000 words. For sleeper, keep it short. We’re talking 700 words, tops. Try to bear in mind which words sound awkward and which ones make it flow smoothly. Work on the mood and tone, and (if you’re brave enough) share it with someone to see if they can feel the same mood/tone.
Anyway, that’s all I have for this blog post. Thank you guys so much for your support. Be sure to share this (appropriately) with your writer friends or anyone you think can benefit from this. I’d really appreciate it.
I wish you the best of luck in life and sexy literature,
Kiba
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